John Terry opens up about suicidal thoughts after missing a penalty in 2008 UCL final

John Terry has revealed that the aftermath of his infamous penalty miss in the 2008 Champions League final pushed him into an extremely dark place.

The former Chelsea captain slipped at the decisive moment in Moscow, striking the post in the shoot-out against Manchester United before the Red Devils went on to claim the trophy. Although Nicolas Anelka later missed as well, it was Terry’s failed spot-kick that became the enduring image of that dramatic night at the Luzhniki Stadium.

Now 45, Terry has admitted that the emotional weight of that moment left him contemplating suicide while staying on the 25th floor of the team hotel, before his teammates intervened and led him away.

Speaking to Reece Mennie on his podcast, he said: “Looking back, I would have loved at that time to have spoken to someone because I remember after the game, we all went back to the hotel and I was on the 25th floor in Moscow, and I'm just looking out the window just going, ‘Why? Why?’ I'm not saying if I had that opportunity that you'd jump, but you know things go through your head at that particular time. Then the boys came up and they took me downstairs. It's those moments that you have the ‘what if?’ You just never know, do you.’”

Terry was left devastated on the pitch and later felt compelled to apologise to supporters through an open letter published on Chelsea’s official website. In the days that followed, he struggled to sleep, managing only a few hours of rest while replaying the final over and over in his mind.

Redemption eventually arrived four years later when Chelsea defeated Bayern Munich on penalties to win the Champions League. Although Terry was suspended for the final after his red card in the semi-final against Barcelona, he was still able to lift the trophy with his teammates.

Across an illustrious career at Stamford Bridge, Terry won five Premier League titles, five FA Cups, three League Cups, the Europa League, and finally Europe’s biggest prize.

This marks the first time Terry has publicly acknowledged that he considered suicide, and he has credited then-assistant manager Ray Wilkins for offering vital support during one of the most difficult periods of his life.